


One Month

by Semi_problematic



Series: Found [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Insecurity, Jealousy, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrelated Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 10:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17020671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: “And I know for a fact tons of guys are into tall dudes. They wanna climb you like a tree-”“Dean!” Sam all but shouted, his face going pink. “That's stupid. They do not!” He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. “I would do the top shelf thing, but I doubt any boys would want to marry me.” Sam was hard to love despite the need to be loved hard.





	One Month

**Author's Note:**

> Read this after reading  
> 1\. One Day  
> 2\. One Week

Sam rolled onto his side, burying his face in the pillow beneath him. On the bed beside him laid Jordan and Alex, both of them tucked beneath Jordan’s sheets. Last night had been one of Alex’s bad nights. He woke up sweating and screaming, tears falling down his cheeks. Jordan was the first person around to comfort him, he was in Alex’s bed in seconds, arms twisting around the smaller boy. Sam was the next person up, sitting in front of Alex and talking to him. Next was Jason, who slept in the room next to theirs and struggled to sleep. He wasn’t in a sleepy haze as he marched into the room and knelt down next to the bed. Within seconds Alex was breathing normally, but his body continued to shake. The last person inside was Dean, who collected Alex in his arms and carried him downstairs to make sure Alex was okay… or as okay as he could be.

Dean was always there for the boys, no matter how cruel they were to Dean. He knew it wasn’t personal, that it was just a front to avoid being hurt. Within time Dean was able to get through to each of the boys, even Sam. When a boy had a bad night Dean would take them into the kitchen and they would get some water before going into his room where they would sleep or talk. Alex talked. He wasn’t one to pretend his past didn’t happen. Once Alex had spoke to Dean he came back up to their room where Sam and Jordan were waiting. Alex climbed into Jordan’s bed and curled up in his chest. Nothing was said and the room stayed silent throughout the rest of the night. 

Sam tossed and turned for a while before he had fallen asleep. His feelings for Dean had yet to waver, but he got better at handling them. Dean was always sweet to him about it, too. Reminding Sam that he would be loved like that even if it wasn’t Dean. Still, Sam loved him, dramatically and wholeheartedly. Sam let his walls down about three weeks into staying at the boys home, which was now his home. After days of fighting himself he finally decided to stay. Sam attended school, too, and he had a tutor that he adored named Max. Kids at school liked him, too. He still got bullied for not being caught up, but he had many friends. Even his grades were decent. Sam would be graduating around twenty unless he decided to get a GED, but neither of those things scared him anymore. 

Sam’s school day consisted of him going to normal school from seven in the morning to three in the afternoon. Then he would stay after for tutoring until four with Max. At five Sam would begin night school that lasted until eight. By eight thirty he was at home along with all the other boys who were at work or night school with Sam. Dean changed the usual dinner time once Sam started going to school because he wanted Sam to be home for dinner. He said families eat together, no matter how long they had to wait. 

A family. Sam finally had one. His family didn’t consist of a cruel, addict mother and a man who wanted to do nothing other than hurt Sam. His family had several boys who were in the same place Sam was. Alone. Scared. Hurt. Then there was Dean and Sonny, the men who made sure they felt safe and cared for no matter what. Almost all of the boys liked Sam. Jake was still avoiding Sam, and honestly, it was working. Every morning Sam got to go downstairs and have several boys smile and greet him. They ate together and even went to see movies together. The too good to be true world was a reality for Sam. He had a home. A warm bed and people who loved him. For once in his life he felt safe. Sam didn’t need to run away anymore and even if he did, people would find him. His family would. 

The streets seemed like a distant memory. No more men were touching him while he fought not to cry. There would be no freezing in the winter or passing out in the summer. Never again would Sam have to spend a night in a cheap motel or worry about his next meal. In fact, Sam was gaining weight. Once Sam had decided to stay, Dean took him to the doctor to get checked out. Despite Sam’s protest, they did a full body exam. The doctor saw all of Sam’s truth as he did so, Sam knew because the doctor stopped speaking. The doctor asked if he wanted to press charges. Sam only laughed and said: “There are far too many to count.” 

Other than that, things went okay. He was severely underweight for his height and age, not that the news surprised him. The nights he went to bed with an empty stomach were triple the nights he was able to get a meal. Since then Dean decided that he would give Sam a little extra food when they had their meals to help boost Sam to a healthy weight. Even when Dean packed lunches with the boys he would put extra things inside. While that was helping, Sam found himself growing insecure.Sam had always been small, but having someone remind him it was unhealthy and almost ugly ripped him apart. When Sam stood in front of the doctor, his shirt in his fists, the doctor gasped. Sam’s cheeks had turned bright pink and Dean looked at him sadly, Just another reminder he was a freak. 

Being small wasn’t really the problem, though. Sam had seen himself for years and while he knew he was far from perfect, the attention the men had given him made him feel a little good. Alex was small, much smaller than Sam, but he was built that way. Jordan was muscular from playing football with the other boys and working around the property. Even Jason was thin, but still had some shape. Sam did not. He was tall, towering over most of the boys and even Dean. While he was thin like Alex and Jason, it was not because his body was built like that. Sam’s ribs did not peak through his skin naturally. He was malnourished and had been his whole life. The doctor was surprised his growth wasn’t stunted. Dean was feeding him to help him and Sam eating more was what the doctor suggested, but Sam’s appetite was only so big. Most of the time he couldn’t even finish normal servings, let alone more. His body wasn’t used to it. While Dean was trying to help, Sam felt like Dean was changing him because he was hideous. The thought wouldn’t leave Sam alone. 

Sam’s size had always bothered him. Countless men commented on it. Some said he needed to gain weight while others told him he was still too big. Not only did they comment on his weight, though. They also made comments about his moles and his dimples. When Sam sold himself, he was supposed to fit the sexy image the men wanted, but most if the time he couldn’t. They wanted short, clear faced boys, who had just the right size and did everything they asked. When they couldn't get they, they got Sam and that was when he became their punching bag. Dean trying to change him only reminded him of that. Sam wished he looked different. When he got taller he began to slouch and hunch over, attempting to seem smaller. Sitting and standing up straight began to hurt. Sam tried makeup, too. He spent as much money as he could trying to find something that would cover his moles. Sam needed their validation then. It was all he had. 

Now he wanted Dean’s. Dean meant the world to Sam. They even had a friendship, well, that was what Sam called it. They would tease each other and joke around, Sam even got to call him a “jerk” and Dean called him a “bitch”. The closeness they had made Sam feel safe, but now that Sam knew Dean was watching his size Sam wanted to cry. Gaining weight wasn’t easy. No matter the types of foods or the meals he ate, Sam did not gain any weight. His ribs still stood out and his wrists were small. Sam’s body was almost all skin and bone. Sam knew it was ugly, but there was seemingly no way to change it. While he struggled to gain weight, Sam began to wear bigger clothes. There was no way of seeing how small he was beneath a sweatshirt and baggy jeans. And that was how Sam liked it. 

Sam rolled over once more, looking over at Alex and Jordan. They were still fast asleep, but Sam knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep again. Sleep had never come easy for him while he was on the street, and that was still the same. Sam had to be exhausted to sleep for a long time and even then he only slept six to seven hours. Sam ran his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. Today was Saturday, a day where they cleaned and did chores, but were also allowed to leave. Sam didn’t get to leave though, he had to get tutored today in order to continue to catch up. Sam smiled to himself at the thought. Max was coming over. 

Max was a senior who had to tutor a kid in order to be able to apply for a scholarship that gave him two free years of college. While Max was only doing this in order to go to college on a good scholarship, he was also incredibly kind. Not once did Sam ever feel like a burden around him. Max was smart, too. Sam was surprised he didn’t get a full ride to any college he wanted. Sam never felt dumb when he was with Max either. Max was an amazing teacher and he was endlessly patient. Going to tutoring wasn’t a chore, in fat, Sam enjoyed going to the library and spending a few hours with Max. Not only was Max smart, but he was also sweet. Sam’s cheeks hurt from smiling every time he headed home. 

It was easy for Sam to fall for people now that he was safe. He was able to have helpless little crushes on boys and do normal things that high schoolers got to. Sam got to see movies and go out to dinner and even go to football games. Sam never knew how fun being normal could be. 

As normal as things were, Sam still struggled with the parts of his past that slipped through the cracks. His self esteem issues were only one of the several problems. Another thing he struggled with was talking to people without doing his old job. Seducing and talking them into it. Sam never got to be normal, so socializing was a little hard for him. He struggled with the normal kids at school who had loving families and all the money they needed. Sam never had that. He had to bite his tongue in order to keep his past behind him. 

Quietly, with slow movements, Sam climbed out of his bed and walked towards the closet. He slid the door open and pulled out a shirt and jeans, picking up a pair of boots from off of the floor. He held his clothes close as he walked out of the room and made his way to the bathroom. Sam stepped inside and shut the door, shrugging off his clothes and turning on the water. Sam enjoyed waking up early because of this, he got to shower without being rushed out.

Sam stepped into the shower once the water had turned warm. He closed his eyes and relaxed beneath the spray, tilting his head back. Sam never got showers like this when he was on the streets. Sam leaned against the wall and let the water wash over him, humming in reply to the warmth. Before Dean, Sam still adored showers. Showers were a small break from the world. A needed break back then, but not anymore. Things were good.

Sam washed his body all over once, then twice. He still felt dirty and the small comments people would make tended to stick with Sam. Part of him felt contaminated, like he was filled with disease because he did what he had to do to survive. There was no shame in sex work, the only shame was the men who touched Sam. The men who knew better than to pay for a child. Sam wanted to be angry at them, but the anger always found its way back to him. He was the one doing the job. It was his choice. 

Dean disagreed. He said that Sam was a child and while he was trying to live on his own the men knew better than to do the things they did. Dean said the men took advantage of Sam. “If they have so much money to spend,” Dean once said, “then they can simply give you it.” Dean was right. They knew Sam needed the money so they pushed boundaries and hurt him. Even with all of that and more in his mind, Sam still blamed himself. He was still a tainted freak to everyone else. A whore. 

Sam washed his hair next, massaging his scalp and keeping his back underneath the warm stream of water. He washed the soap from his hair before standing beneath the water for a moment, letting the water and steam wrap around his body. He shut off the water and climbed out, grabbing a towel and drying his hair, then his body.

His hair was still heavy and filled with water which caused it to darken and stay stuck to the top of his head. Sam was able to pull his clothes on, doing so as fast as he could because the air conditioning was sending shivers down his spine. Sam pulled on his boxers, pants and a shirt. In the bathroom was a basket of clean socks that had been paired up. Sam pulled a pair from the basket and pulled them on before slipping his feet into his boots and tying them. 

Sam pulled the door open, wincing at the cold air that rushed into the bathroom. He wiped the mirror off with his hand, frowning when he saw his body. The shirt was far too big on him and so were his pants. His arms were thin and his hips pointed out of the top of his jeans. Sam drug his feet across the ground as he moved about the room, attempting to make himself look better. His clothes were swallowing him, even though they were the smallest sizes Sam could find that covered his stomach and all of his legs. While he looked at himself, he felt defeated. He was far too thin and too tall for any clothes to fit him like they fit the other boys. 

While some were thin, they were not tall so their shirts covered their torso and their pants clung to their legs and even had a little left over. Other boys were tall, but muscular so the bigger sizes Sam wore fit them because they were filled out. Sam's sizes were somewhere in the middle. Just another thing to alaninate him from all the other boys. 

Sam wanted to ignore the tears filling his eyes, but he couldn't. The fear and disgust and insecurity washed over him and the tears began to fall. As much as Sam hated it, he couldn't look away. He found himself staring and finding each and every flaw in himself that he could. The longer he looked the tighter his chest got and the more his heart broke. He was too tall and too thin. No one wanted someone like him. Someone that was weak and towered over people. As each second passed more and more tears fell. Sam stood there, gripping the counter and whimpering as he cried. 

Dean stepped past the door, freezing when he saw Sam. “Hey.” Within seconds Dean was wrapping his arms around Sam and holding him close. “You're okay. I'm here. You are safe.” Dean rubbed Sam's damp hair and jels him tight against his chest. “What's going on? Are you okay?” 

Sam nodded his head, burying his face in Dean's neck. “Yeah…” He lied. “Just one of those days, it was stupid.” Sam struggled to rebuild his walls and have a stone face. Dean didn't need to worry about him. He wasn't worth much anyway. Sam wiped his eyes, reluctantly pulling away. As soon as Dean let go Sam began to miss his touch. “I'm fine. It was dumb.” 

Dean took a deep breath, closing the door behind him. “Sam.” Dean spoke softly. “You can talk to me… I promise. I am here to take care of you.” Dean cupped his cheek to make sure Sam was looking up at him. “What happened?”

Sam struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. “I just…” Sam closed his eyes. “I am ugly.” He looked up at Dean. “Too thin, too tall. I am dirty. And I know here I can be loved but…” Sam looked at the mirror. His reflection. “I still feel like this. Disgusting.” He felt childish for crying. Immature. Of all the things to cry over, he was crying over his body and his face. “The scars, the moles-” 

“Sam…” Dean smiled down at him. Sam didn't understand how Dean could be smiling during this, not that it mattered. Not that Sam mattered. “You are not too thin and you are not too tall. You aren't disgusting either.” Dean stepped behind Sam and held his hips, turning Sam so that he was looking at himself. “Look at you…” Dean slid his arms around his waist. “Only a few inches taller than me. Not too tall at all. And-” Dean nudged him. “The boys would kill for you on the basketball team.”

Sam laughed softly. Only Dean could make him laugh when he felt this bad. “C'mon…” Sam whispered. “I doubt any of them envy my height.” Sam's back ached from hunching over. He never wanted to intimidate people with his height. His too long legs and long torso to match didn't help much, though. While he liked his legs, his height bothered him daily. 

“It's nice.” Dean mumbled. “You could marry a short boy and put all the stuff on the top shelf so you gotta get it for him. You are a sap like that.” Dean's fingers dipped beneath Sam's shirt and pressed against his skin. He held Sam close. “And I know for a fact tons of guys are into tall dudes. They wanna climb you like a tree-”

“Dean!” Sam all but shouted, his face going pink. “That's stupid. They do not!” He covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. “I would do the top shelf thing, but I doubt any boys would want to marry me.” Sam was hard to love despite the need to be loved hard. Sam put his hands over Dean's shaking his head. “Not just my height. My weight-”

“Sam-”

“It's not healthy.” He whispered. “I tried to make it better, but I can't gain weight. It just… looking at myself reminds me about all the men. I can still feel them… and see them… and see the things that life caused me to do.” It felt like Sam's past would follow him no matter what. No matter how bad he ached to escape it.

“Fast metabolism.” Dean replied easily. “You are eating now, though. Three meals a day and snacks. Much better than you were before which will start to help. It will just take time.” Dean looked at Sam through the mirror. “I know it can be hard… with seeing your body and associating those things but… you just need to make new memories instead. Fun ones-” Dean paused. “Not like that.” 

Sam felt defeated. “Then like what, Dean?” 

“Like this.” Dean slid his hands higher. “You feel my hands. Touching you. Comforting you. Think about that when you start to remember those things. Think about all the hugs the boys give you and how we hold hands to say thanks sometimes.” Dean kissed the back of Sam's neck. “Soon enough you will have only good memories. I promise.” 

Sam knew it was easy to fall for Dean, but it was even easier to stay in love with him. He was sweet and gentle. Sam still struggled believing that it was real. He pressed against Dean, focusing on his touch. Safe. That's how Dean made him feel. “My moles.” Sam breathed out. “I… they're so ugly. And all over.” 

Men often mocked Sam for his moles which caused Sam to cover them with makeup the best he could. Still, they would mention them. Insult them. When girls had them they were considered beauty marks, but that didn't apply to Sam. He didn't have one or two. He had several, so many it was easy to say he had freckles. But he didn't. Just moles covering his body. Reminding him how imperfect he was, as if he needed to be reminded.

“You know, my mom used to say moles were angel kisses.” Dean buried his face in Sam's neck, humming. 

“Dean…” Sam whispered. “I think people say that about freckles. Not moles.” Sam looked down at Dean’s freckled covered arms. “Yeah… definitely freckles.” 

“Freckles?” Dean pulled away and made a face. “Is that saying really about freckles? Because I was sure that it's about moles.” 

Sam laughed. “Yeah, Dean. It's about freckles.” 

“Doesn't matter.” Dean grinned. “That's beside the point. Your moles are nice. Like those things in the sky-”

“Constellations?”

“Mhm.”

“Wow, Dean. You got a real way with words, don’t you?” Sam teased. He turned around in Dean's grip, placing his hands on his shoulders and looking up at him. “Thank you…” 

“I know what kind of kisses they are.” 

Sam smirked. “Oh, yeah? What kind?”

Dean was silent for a moment, his hands cupping Sam's cheeks gently. He leaned down and kissed one of Sam's moles, a mole that was painfully close to his lips. He stared at Sam for a moment before pulling away. “I need to… go start breakfast.” He smiled nervously, backing away. “I'll see you… down there.” 

The door opened and closed before Sam had time to reply. He picked up his dirty clothes and towels before walking out of the room as well and taking them downstairs to the laundry room. Sam made sure to put his darks in the dark pile and lights in the light pile, leaving the towels in their own pile. He stayed down there for a moment, taking a deep breath and replaying what had just happened. Dean kissed him, well, he kissed his face. But he chose to do it. After sliding his hands under Sam's shirt and touching him. That had to mean something. 

Sam rushed back up the stairs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He rushed past Jake who was disappearing into the kitchen. “Morning.” Sam mumbled, looking him up and down. There was a scar on his hand from where Sam had stabbed him. Part of him felt bad for adding another scar to his collection.

Jake smiled. “Morning.” He didn't look at Sam, which was probably why he was so polite. He could have pretended Sam was any guy. Not the guy who fought back. “Tell the cooks to get down here. It's bacon and eggs and pancakes day. Maybe waffles if we get a few extra hands.”

Sam nodded, continuing to walk. “Will do. I think I can get my roommates down to help.” 

Sam walked up the steps, smiling as some of the boys walked past him. Some were much younger than him, thirteen and fourteen. There was a ten year old, too. Dean kept those boys in a different room, far from the older boys. Most of the house was older boys, though. Once a boy passes the age of fifteen parents will start kicking them out for misbehaving. They were much less forgiving. 

“Wake up!” Sam called as he shoved the door open. “It's breakfast time and if we help we can make waffles.” Sam flopped onto the bed, jabbing Jordan in the side. “Come on. I know you love waffles.”

Jordan grunted. “I also love sleep.”

“There’s fruit. Strawberries.” Sam turned to Alex. “Your favorite.”

Alex cracked an eye open. “Really? I thought we couldn't have them anymore because they were so expensive.”

Sam shrugged. “Guess Dean decided you deserved a treat.” He ran his fingers through Alex's hair. “Come on. You don't gotta do a lot, but they need more boys down there.”

“Morning shifts are always the hardest.” Jordan groaned. “That's why it should be cereal and microwave breakfast sandwiches like it is during the school week.”

“You know family dinners are important to Dean.” Sam sat up, scooping Alex up in his arms and setting him down. “Go get dressed.” 

Alex leaned against Sam for a few seconds before pulling away and walking towards the closet. He stripped off his clothes and pulled out new ones. “Jordan.” Alex whined. “Help.” 

Jordan groaned once more and sat up. “Come here.” 

Sam smiled at the two. “I'll see you guys down there.” He walked towards the door, slipping out as Jordan began to comb his hands through Alex’s hair. Alex insisted that Jordan had the best hair, so he also insisted that Jordan helped him do his hair everyday. 

Sam made his way down the hall, stopping in front of Jason's room. He reached out to knock, but stopped when Jason pulled open the door and stepped out.

Jason smiled at him. “Miss me?” 

Sam nodded, snaking his arms around his waist. He leaned down and kissed him gently. “We need help down in the kitchen.”

“Mhm.” Jason kissed Sam again. “We could sneak out and skip all that. Hide up in the barn and listen to music. I made a playlist for you.”

“But there's waffles.” Sam mumbled. “With the little pockets for syrup-” 

“Fine. I'll head down.” Jason pecked his lips. “But I do want you to listen to the playlist later.” 

Sam felt guilty as Jason disappeared down the stairs. He liked Jason, a lot, but not as much as Jason liked him. The kissing and cuddling was nice, but he needed to stop it soon. He couldn't lead Jason on, especially with him falling so fast. “Okay!” Sam called, turning back towards his room.

Alex poked his head out and smiled. “Jordan is getting ready, but we can head down now. He said he might sneak a quick shower.” Alex walked out and took Sam's hand. “Like you do.”

Sam smiled. “It gets hot at night, even with all the windows open.” Sam squeezed his hand, walking bom down the steps. “You said you liked Dean, yeah?”

Alex blushed and nodded. “Yeah… but don't tell.” 

“I won't but… has Dean ever-” Sam took a deep breath. “Has Dean ever kissed you? Or Jason? Or one of the other boys that likes him?”

“No.” Alex shook his head. “Dean won't. Says he's supposed to protect us. That he is our guardian. That stuff isn't safe.”

“Or legal.” A boy said from behind him. Diego. “I’m turning eighteen in like two weeks and he still won't.” Diego was in the same boat as Sam. Behind in school, which meant Dean was keeping him at the boys home until he graduates, gets a GED, or gets to a grade where he can drop out and have a job. “Tragic, right?” Diego nudged him.

Sam nodded, forcing a laugh. If Dean was so against kissing any of his boys, why did he kiss Sam? Sam had kissed him before, but today Dean leaned down and kissed his mole. “Yeah, it sucks. He's real hot.”

“Damn right.” Diego looked down at Alex. “I wonder how he doesn’t have a boyfriend.” 

“Probably married to the job or something.” Alex said. “Sonny says that's how it was for him. He wanted to take care of Dean and his boys. Not focus on going out.”

Sam nodded. “Small town, too. Not many guys who are into guys. I mean we…” Sam looked around. “Sure, there are a lot of us who like guys but we are from all over.” 

“Boys!” Dean called from the kitchen. “Hurry up! We need all the help we can get!” 

“Is it too late to go back to bed?” Diego called.

“Yes, Diego! I know your voice! Now come on!” 

Sam laughed. “Married to the job.” 

Making breakfast was fun, despite the crowded kitchen. They got several pancakes and waffles made, along with eggs and bacon. Diego even convinced Dean to add some sausage to the menu. Alex happily ate strawberries while flipping the bacon and Sam worked on the pancakes. Dean handled the eggs and Jake handled the waffles. A few other boys ended up joining them. Dean avoided Sam the best he could, and despite it being obvious he tried to cover it up. His attempts failed as soon as the boys left to set the table.

“So…” Sam stepped up next to Dean. “Earlier… you kissed me. What was that about?” 

“It shouldn't have happened. I don't kiss my boys. You are too young and you look to me for help and support… I…” Dean took a deep breath. “I am not a predator. What I did was wrong and I am sorry for that. It will not happen again.” 

Sam cupped Dean’s cheek and forced Dean to look at him. “What if I want it to happen again?” Sam hated that Dean continued to look away from him.

“You are underage. There is a power imbalance.” Dean looked down at him. “I am so sorry-” He rubbed his face. “But this isn't right. What I did wasn't right.”

“Dean.” Sam whispered. “Please. I want it. I know I do. Please… just… trust me. We can stop any time-” He felt ashamed for begging, but he needed the truth. Some part of Dean wanted him, but Sam needed to know how big the part was. Was it big enough to break all of the rules? 

“We can’t.” Dean replied. “Because it won't start.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “It won’t.” He repeated. He stared at Sam, his face hard and cold. 

“It started when you kissed me.” Sam almost yelled. “You don't have to want me. That's fine. But please… please stop giving me these signals. The kissing and the touching. It is confusing. You can't blame me for thinking you are into me. It has to stop if you don't want this, okay?” 

Dean swallowed and looked down at Sam. “Okay.” Without saying another word, Dean walked out to the dining room. Sam stood there for a moment, watching him. He even waited for Dean to come back. But he didn't. So Sam walked into the dining room, got his own plate, and filled it with food, despite not being hungry. 

Sam ate his breakfast silently while the boys talked around him. He played with his food some before finally giving in and eating it. Dean was silent, too, despite talking to a few of the boys just to make conversation. Sam didn't really care that Dean wasn't into him. It hurt, but he could take rejection. What he couldn't take was Dean kissing him then telling him it would never happen. The constant back and forth made Sam's heart ache. He wanted nothing more than to hide away from it, but he couldn't. Instead Sam waited for breakfast to end before finally slipping away to do his chores and avoid Dean all together. 

Sam had a few hours to kill before his tutor got there, so he decided to dust then vacuum. Dusting was fun for Sam, he got to look at all the photos of boys from different generations. Dean was in a couple of them, with black eyes and a busted lip. Sonny said Dean had a problem with fighting the other boys in the beginning. Maybe that's why Dean was so patient with him when he first showed up. While Sam was okay with Dean not wanting him, he still felt things for him. Sam loved seeing younger photos of Dean. He was small like Sam, but he had more muscle. Dean was even on the basketball team, but that wasn't something he liked to talk about. 

Sam dusted all of the photos and all of the fans in each room, then he drug out the vacuum and plugged it in, beginning to clean the living room, then the dining room. Sam swept the kitchen next, cleaning up any bits of food that had landed on the floor. After that Sam took all the rugs out and laid them across the railing outside the front of his house. 

Chores were always something Sam liked to do. They made him feel normal. Kids at school would complain about their chores and how their parents got mad if they didn't do them. Sam didn't join in, but he did do the same things they did. Cook. Clean. Wash clothes. Going to school and having his grades checked on felt normal, too. Grades were always a topic his friends talked about and despite Sam's classes being different than theirs, he still got to talk about how his family breathed down his neck.

Family. Something he had. Sam never talked about the boys home the way others did. Some said Dean was a foster dad and others said Sonny was. While some just said it was a foster home or a boys home. Sam told everyone at school that he had a family. A dad, who was Sonny, and brothers which were the other boys in the home. Sam didn't mention Dean nor did he mention the feelings he had for him, he knew naming him when kids knew where he was was dangerous. Sam couldn't risk being the reason Dean lost his job. He cared about him too much. 

Sam drug the carpets back in once they had been aired out and he laid them down, making sure each of them laid smooth across the wooden floor. He walked upstairs and changed into jeans and a shirt, laying his other clothes on his bed for later. He had to make sure he looked okay for Max. 

“Dressing up?” Diego teased, peeking into Sam's room. “You look nice but untuck the shirt some. Yeah?”

Sam blushed, nodding. “You stalkin’ me or something?” 

“As cute as you are, no. But, I do know the game you are playing.” Diego shook his head. “And it won't work, so give it up now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sam smirked. “What kinda game is that?”

“The make Dean jealous game.” Diego copied Sam's smirk. “Or the replace Dean with the closest boy you can find game.”

“I am not doing that.” Sam was, but admitting it was something he didn't want to do. Especially when his feelings were so tangled with Dean. It wasn’t a crush like Diego, Jason, or Alex had. It was far different. Dean felt something, too. That was unheard of. “Max isn't into me. I just wanna make a good impression. People at school already decide we are gross and weird. Gotta prove them otherwise.”

Diego nodded. “Oh, yeah? Okay. Whatever you say, Sam.” He ducked out of the room and walked down the hall, leaving Sam alone in his room once more. 

Dean was very strict on how the boys acted outside of the home. He said that they were representing the home and Dean and that he did not want to be disappointed. The boys were expected to dress nice and be respectful at all times. They were allowed to stand their ground, too, but Dean did not want to hear that any of his boys started a fight. The boys listened, too. For the most part, Dean had all of their respect.

Sam walked out of his room, closing the door behind him. He rushed down the hall and the stairs, sitting down on the couch in the living room. The front door was wide open while a few boys worked on the flowers and mowing the lawn. Max would be there soon, he was almost never late. Still, Sam found himself checking the clock and worrying. Spending time with Max was something he loved to do, even though Deigo hated being tutored, Sam loved it. Max was another friend to have and Max never made him feel stupid.

“Sam?” 

Sam jumped when he heard one of the boys call his name. “What?” He called back, turning and looking out the window.

Jordan stood outside of the window, dirt covering his shirt. “Max just pulled up!” 

Sam grinned and nodded. “Okay! Thanks!” He climbed off of the couch and ran towards the front door. Sam stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath. He needed to relax. He opened the door and smiled at Max as he made his way up the yard. “Hey.” 

Max smiled back at him. “Hey, Sam. He's working you guys to death, huh?”

“You got that right.” Jordan mumbled. 

Max laughed at that. “So, today I thought we could work on Algebra since your last test didn't end very well.”

“Don’t gotta rub it in.”

“I'm not, trust me. I had to take Algebra twice. It's hard.” Max nudged him. “But it means I know how to help you a lot better now. You just need some extra practice. That's all.”

“Or a new brain.”

Max slapped his arm. “Stop that.”

Sam held the door open for him, waiting for Max to step inside before following him. He closed the door behind them. “We can work in the dining room or the living room.”

“Dining room. I wanna spread out.” Max made a face. “Sorry, that sounded weird.”

Sam made a face and nodded. “Very.”

Max brought several books with him. Text books and books Sam used to practice with. Sam brought down his notebook that had all of his notes and his folder filled with graded papers. Max had a new copy of the test that they worked through together and he explained each mistake Sam made and why it was wrong. 

Sam found himself looking at Max far too often. He had green eyes like Dean and the same haircut, but his hair was darker. Max dressed nicer than Dean, too, but he wore a black leather jacket that looked a lot like Dean's beat up, brown jacket. Max was beautiful, but Sam could find beauty in almost every boy he met. Sam struggled with it. Now that his heart was open he loved all too easy. Sam just hoped Max didn't know.

After going over the test, Max reread through notes and taught Sam the things he couldn't quite remember. Once that was done and Sam felt confident, Sam started to work on his homework while Max worked on his own homework. Max was in College Algebra, a class that Sam could never imagine taking. Max already had enough credits, but he didn't want to head off to college yet. He took college classes instead, with a few other classes just for fun. Sam wished he could do that, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. He already struggled with getting enough credits. He couldn't waste time on extra hard classes just to look smart.

Once they were done with math, Max packed up all the books and they moved to reading. Sam never had much English homework, but when he did he struggled with it. Sam had gotten much better at reading out loud and in his head, but he still couldn't get the hang of remembering all the important parts of the story. His lack of reading comprehension caused him to fail many quizzes which did not help his English grade. Since Sam struggled so much, Max would break up the chapters into three or four pages, have Sam read them, then discuss with him what they went over.

Max was patient with Sam, extremely patient. He didn't mind explaining things over again or rereading parts of the story to Sam. Sam was thankful for him being so sweet. Asking for help had never been something Sam was good at. Throughout his life, each time he asked for help something went wrong. Max reminded him that it was okay to need help. That there was no shame in not knowing.

Sam hunched over his book, reading the third chunk of pages Max had marked out for him. He played with the pages, rubbing his fingers along the edges before pinching them. 

“You look good today.” Max mumbled from beside him.

Sam paused and looked up. “Me?” 

Max nodded. “Mhm. That color looks good on you.” He reached out and closed the book. “I think we should take a break. You have been working hard.”

Sam silently nodded. Max had never been one for taking random breaks, but Sam wasn't going to argue. As fun as being normal was, going to school and doing piles of homework was anything but fun. “What do you wanna do?”

“We could talk. Get to know each other a little better.” Max tilted his head to the side. “You are real mysterious. I wanna learn more.”

“Uh…” Sam felt his face heating up. “Yeah, sure. We can talk. What do you wanna know?”

“You queer?”

Sam tensed for a moment. “Yes… um… I'm gay.” Sam tried to ignore the knot in his stomach. 

Max nodded. “Cool… I was sort of hoping you were. You are… ya know… handsome and all.” 

“No.” Sam laughed all soft. “If anyone is handsome it's you. With the freckles and the eyes. And you are smart.”

“You are, too.” Max moved his chair closer to Sam’s. “You don't give yourself enough credit, Sam. I mean it. You try so hard…” He reached out and cupped Sam's cheek. 

Sam held his breath. 

“I wish I could show you…” Max leaned closer. “Can I?” 

Sam was silent. Then he nodded.

“I think this session is over.” Dean said from the doorway. Both boys jumped. Max scrambled to gather his things. “We'll see you next week,” Dean continued as Max rushed towards the door. “Bye!” 

“What the hell was that?” 

“I need your help with dinner. Come on.” Dean walked away from the doorway, stepping into the kitchen. “Get the rolls out and let them start thawing.”

“Hey!” Sam shouted. No one was inside. Just them. “What the hell was that?” 

“No kissing under this roof.”

Sam laughed dryly. “Oh? So you can kiss me but if I wanna kiss someone else that's wrong? Okay, Dean.”

Dean tensed, his jaw clenching. Sam wanted to hit him, really hit him. “I said sorry-”

“This isn’t about the kissing rule. This is about you fucking with me. Leading me on then ruining stuff-” Sam took a deep breath. “He was going to kiss me, Dean.” 

“Well, Sam.” Dean turned and faced him. “I didn't want you to.” 

Sam stared at him before taking one step back. Then another. He twisted around and ran up the steps, not stopping until he was curled beneath his blankets in his room with the door shut. 

Time passed slowly as Sam laid in there. He wasn't throwing a fit, not really. He just needed space. Dean was confusing him. One minute Dean was kissing him, then it was over, and then Dean ruined Max trying to kiss Sam. Sam couldn't take it. Slowly, the sun set and the boys came inside to shower after a long days work outside. Summer was ending, so they had to get the last of the important stuff out of the way before fall came. Fall meant a new list of outside chores. 

Soon, dinner began to be cooked. Sam wasn't sure what was being made, but he wasn't hungry. Sam was only annoyed. He tossed and turned for a while, hoping to fall asleep, but he couldn't. Sam listened to the footsteps below him, waiting for all of them to head into the dining room. Once they did, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and climbed out, running his fingers through his hair.

Sam went downstairs, sitting down where he could, which was conveniently next to Dean, and picking up his plate. He got some food before sitting back down and picking at it. Like this morning, Sam was silent, avoiding eye contact with every boy, even the ones that were his friends. 

“So… Sam.” Dean began. “How was your day?”

Sam scoffed. “Fine.”

Dean sighed. None of the other boys seemed to notice the tension. “Sammy…” 

“Don't.” Sam mumbled. 

“What?”

Sam cracked a smile. “Can't be mad at you when you call me that.”

Dean tilted his head to the side and smiled at Sam. “I won't do it again.” 

Part of Sam felt let down. He wanted it again. For Dean to kiss him and act jealous. For Dean to want him just as bad as Sam wanted him. It wouldn't happen, though. Sam knew that. “Yeah… okay…” 

“Are we good?” Dean asked. His foot pressed against Sam's.

Sam blushed. “Yeah. We are good.” Dean was. But Sam wasn't. He was only falling deeper and deeper in love with Dean. And not even Dean was stopping him.


End file.
